58 ... He's finally one better than Heinz

Today is my father's birthday and I like to honor him here by linking to some of his writing to be found online.

Dad has had quite a bit of luck with contests run by the British Spectator magazine. Here are a few of his recent triumphs. Oh, and for those who might not know or had forgotten, Dad's name is Chris O'Carroll:

Write a poem containing the first or last line ‘Whenever you see a rhinoceros’.

Provide a pithy definition of hell

I was moved by Dad's rhino rhyme to try one myself. Yes, I know this is supposed to be about my father, but it's my blog, dammit!:

Old bride, horny as a rhinoceros
For her gifts said, “Don’t cup-and-saucer us!
Lingerie is much smarter”
But friends bought her no garter
At the wedding she just had to toss her truss.

The first line's a bit wonky but I'm rather proud of those rhymes.

Happy birthday, Dad!