Things I have had to explain to actors in children’s theatre that should have gone without saying

You cannot ad-lib “Oh my god!” A number of people are quite serious about taking the lord’s name in vain.

You cannot imply romance between a human character and an animal character. Parents do not like to take their children to theatre that endorses bestiality.

During autograph sessions after the show, the kids want you to sign your character name, not your own name.

It’s “beanstalk” not “beanstock.”

It’s “puss in boots” not “pus.”

There is a difference between “foppish” and “flamingly gay.”

Yes, you have to say that line. That's why I put it in the script.