This was supposed to be a THOT, but it got a little out of hand

Energonomics

As I have said, I love YouTube. It allows you to meet old friends. For instance, this morning I watched, for the first time in nearly 20 years, the “Return of Optimus Prime” episode of “Transformers.”

I did get to see the Transformers movie a while ago and I was quite disappointed. I don’t think I noticed this as a kid, but after the first twenty minutes or so, almost all the older characters have died. Here’s the official death list, according to Wikipedia …

Autobots
• Brawn
• Prowl
• Ratchet
• Ironhide
• Optimus Prime
• Wheeljack
• Windcharger
• Gears
• Huffer (offscreen)
• Red Alert (in deleted scene)
Decepticons
• Megatron (though he was reborn as Galvatron)
• Thundercracker (reborn as Scourge)
• Skywarp (reborn as either Cyclonus or a Sweep)
• Bombshell (reborn as Cycolonus)
• Kickback (reborn as a Sweep)
• Shrapnel (reborn as a Sweep)
• Starscream
(The best thing about Wikipedia is that it proves there are people much, much dorkier than I)

I was especially bugged about Brawn dying, since he was the first Transformer I owned. I was also fond of Ironhide and Wheeljack, who were fun characters, and Ratchet has a great story arc early in the comic. Obviously, the death of Optimus was traumatic for everyone. If you ever meet a young man born between 1973 and 1980 who claims he was not deeply upset when Optimus Prime died, he is probably a communist.

So, all the old characters are dead or changed, except for Bumblebee and Spike, who are out of action, and the dinobots (minus, I think, Snarl, the stegosaur), who are even stupider than usual. And for the rest of the movie we have to watch the new people … ie, the new toys … doing everything.

Well, Hasbro felt really, really bad about killing Optimus (this royally screwed up plans to kill Duke in the GI Joe movie, and kept it out of theatres). So they brought him back in a fairly illogical, if Marv Wolfman-plotted, three-part episode which wound up being the last Transformers cartoon of the 80s (and, as a good Gen-Xer I don’t consider anything that came after it canon).

But they went too far with this one. It starts with Rodimus Prime doubting his ability to lead and … it turns out he’s right. By the end Optimus takes the Matrix back and Rodimus turns back into Hot Rod. So that whole plot arc in the movie where Hot Rod matures and earns the position as Prime was all bullshit?

I mean, I’m glad they returned Optimus to his rightful place. But did they really need to turn Rodimus back? If it’s the matrix that makes you “Prime” then why didn’t Optimus turn back to Orion Pax when it was removed?

Plus ... just how many people died from the Hate Plague? Like ... millions? If nothing could get through the metal coating on Optimus, how could he talk? Just how is Goldbug a better name than Bumblebee?

Wow … did I actually write that?