Audience Participation Day Responses: Suppose they decide to change the National Anthem. If it’s not “The Star Spangled Banner” anymore, what would you want it to be? (funny answers accepted, serious ones appreciated, too)

It's almost too easy to take humorous shots at it... I guess it also depends on what I'd *want* it to be, or what would be most fitting? (note: my theory on "wanted" is along the lines of how the audience could participate - I'm always a fan of audience participation)

Fitting:"Kiling in the Name" by RATM?
Wanted: "MmmmmBop" by Hanson.

Fitting: "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC
Wanted: "Margaritaville"

Serious: "My Country"
Serious: "America" - but only if you try to sing it like Ray Charles.
Dave S. | 08.09.05 - 5:27 pm | #


I remember when RATM fans got all pissed off because “SNL” wouldn’t let them hang an American flag upside down while performing (on a show hosted by Steve Forbes, btw). These fans were accusing NBC of “censorship,” which, of course, is utter bullshit – a TV network has every right to decree what they will or won’t air. Personally, I give them huge props for having RATM perform on the Steve Forbes show to begin with. I’m guessing his staff didn’t vet that choice too well.

Yeah, Ray Charles sung “America the Beautiful” better than anyone else, but … do we really want people trying to imitate him? I can only see that going horrifically wrong.



America the Beautiful, you mean? That was going to be my pick, too.
Carolyn | 08.10.05 - 8:33 am | #



Okay, I’m gonna tally these.



"My Country 'Tis of Thee" so we can then make England change theirs.
Ross | Homepage | 08.10.05 - 9:51 am | #


If the US and UK were playing against each other, would they just play the anthem twice?



"God Bless America" for two reasons:

1. because we totally need to sing more songs with "god" and "america" in them; and

2. because in girl scouts I learned it as "God Bless My Underwear (my only pair)"
Kate S. | 08.10.05 - 5:16 pm | #


That should be a consideration -- which song makes for the best dirty third-grade version?



"C is for Cookie (and that's Good Enough for Me)"
Abraham Smith your brother | 08.10.05 - 9:42 pm | #

Well, that is a more meaningful statement than anything in, say, “Proud to be an American.” Seriously, who in their right mind would like that song?



My computer froze last time I tried to answer this so we'll try again-- I'm know how much Noah loves "Proud to be an American" so I'm tempted to vote for that. I guess I gotta go with "My Country Tis of Thee" because it doesn't mention God until like the fourth verse. "America the Beautiful" has God in every verse.
Amanda | 08.11.05 - 9:38 am | #


Clearly my wife isn’t in her right mind, why else would she marry me?

Seriously, dear, you’re a good liberal. How can you like such a right-wing piece of shit?



GnR - November Rain. Of course, everyone's legs would give out during Slash's bitchin' solo.

Ray Charles America the Beautiful is an excellent choice. I'm down with that, too.
Brian | 08.11.05 - 11:47 am | #


Can we change the flag so it’s an image of Axl marrying an underwear model while Slash fumbles around for the ring?




I think it's important that the song by easy to sing. So I vote campfire-time favorite "This Is The Song That Never Ends".
Max | Homepage | 08.11.05 - 2:36 pm | #



Well, depending on who sings it, “The Star Spangled Banner” is already a song that never ends.



God Bless America sung by Kate Smith--unfortunately she is dead and you youngsters probably don't know her anyway
Doyne, the mother-in-law | 08.12.05 - 5:40 am | #



Only by reputation, and that routine Gabe Kaplan did about Ed Sullivan getting drunk on his last show and proposing to do graphic things to her.



Don't Stop Believing by my boyfriends of Journey.
Kate F | 08.12.05 - 9:35 am | #



Clearly Kate has, herself, never stopped believing.




How about God Bless America - but we put in a clause...

"God Bless America (and we mean any god, not just ours.. and by ours, we sorta mean the Christian God, but you can take it any way you want...) Land That I Love!"

The timing might be difficult, but they can adapt the song, and hold the note. Heck, in our current National Anthem, they hold the "Land of the Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" for hours, it seems.
Dave S. | 08.12.05 - 12:43 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, that brings us to our tally:


“America the Beautiful” 3
“God Bless America” 3
“My Country ‘Tis of Thee” 3

Huh … three-way tie. I worry that “C is for Cookie” acted as a spoiler.

Of those nominees, yeah “America the Beautiful” is my favorite. I just think it’s the best song. I think I actually don’t much care for “God Bless America.” Maybe it’s just overkill from the past four years, maybe it’s connection to Ronan Tynan taking 20 minutes to sing it at Yankee Stadium, maybe it’s the arrogance implied in the central statement (God bless America, everyone else can go fuck themselves), but mostly I just think it’s kind of a boring song. But that’s just me.

On the other hand, I do like the idea of the National Anthem having been written by a Jew named Irving.

“My Country ‘Tis of Thee” is a great song, and secular. But … we stole the tune. Who are we, “Weird Al”? Still, it is also the only one of the big four patriotic songs that actually addresses specifics of America as a nation, if vaguely (“sweet land of liberty” “land of the Pilgrims’ pride” “let freedom ring”), rather than making vague allusion to natural beauty or a symbol, like the flag (yeah, “Banner” gets one nod to freedom in at the very end).

And yes, I do worry about invoking God in the National Anthem, as “America the Beautiful” does in every verse. I do think, though, that it’s “god” in the way Einstein used to reference “god” – “God does not play at dice” and such. It’s really used as a way of saying “nature.”

Or am I wrong?